By A Pastor in Romania

“What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done; there is nothing new under the sun.” Ecc. 1,9 – these are the bible verses that are in my mind for days. The absolute hopelessness, fear, and hate found a place in my heart. It shouldn’t, but this is the reality of life. In Eastern Europe, history is repeating, again and again, like it is a never-ending treadwheel that is spun over and over by the wind. I never felt so deep the desperate of King Solomon, I never felt this burning worry and weakness, this absolute hopelessness in the future of Eastern Europe.

My eldest son (19 years old) was enlisted in the Romanian Army. Every young man of 18 and 19 years old was taken in the registers. My heart is exploding with fear. He asked me; if the war comes to Romania, do I have to kill somebody? I couldn’t answer, I was not able to say a word, my throat was pressed like as by an iron fist. My son is a tender Christian young man, with a strong love for Christ. What can I say to him? That night I was crying. Not loud, just teardrops slowly sliding down on my face to my pillow. Hours-long. I did not cry for almost 30 years…Now the time for crying came back.

I was preaching Christ for almost a quarter of a century, and I was trying with all my strength to show our Lord, Jesus Christ to my sons, to my family, to my congregation. This fall my second son will turn 18 years old. He will be enrolled in the army, too.

“Do I have to kill somebody?” I cannot get rid of my son’s question. What can I answer? We live just 128km from the Ukrainian border. A town in west Ukraine was heavily bombed by Russian cruise missiles. Less than 200 km from my bedroom. The Russian army occupied a small, but very important island in the Black sea, just near the shores of Romania. We know, the war will be expanded, (all the time it was, all the time it is expanded in Eastern Europe). Romania will be the next country at war with Russia, because of the Black sea.

“Do I have to kill somebody?” asks my son. What can I answer? Yes, kill the man in front of you, otherwise you will be killed, otherwise, I will have a dead son in a coffin. How can I say this to my son? Me, who preaches Christ and His love? No, don’t kill anybody. How can I say this? Then my son will be killed. Worse, he will be tortured and killed. How can I say to my son don’t kill anybody?

What if the Russian army will invade Romania? Again…We do remember, 80 years ago they distorted everything, they raped our mothers, wives, and daughters. They are less than 200 km from my home. Do I, myself have to kill somebody? Or to watch how my family is destroyed? Will I be able to preach again from the pulpit ever in my life? Or to run away? To leave everything behind? To leave my flock behind? I am not ready for this, I don’t have the strength for this. I am not Dietrich Bonhoeffer…I am just a simple Christian pastor, who serves his Lord in Eastern Europe.

Our city was assigned as a refugee town. Like in the Bible. The authorities asked every church and NGO to report if there are available rooms for refugees. My congregation reported space for five families. What can we do? We can hardly pay our energy bills, Romania is in an economic collapse, and we will have refugees. A lot of refugees. We will care for them, and we will give our best to give them hope, love. To give them Christ. There are expected 5 million refugees in the coming month. Now there are crossing the Romania border over 10,000 refugees every day. We are prepared, we are ready.

We forgot in the last decades to be prepared, we forgot to be ready for the war, for the disasters. We became too lazy, we became too comfortable. Now we got a slap on our face, on our heart. This will guide us back to the Lord. Eastern Europe and our society have to return again to God, to repent. The hard way.

“Look out! Satan has asked to sift you like wheat. But I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And you, when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” Luke 22, 31-32. Our Lord will not let us be sifted by Satan, but we trust, we know that our faith will not fail the Lord will keep us.

Brothers and Sisters, we ask you to pray strong for us, as we are now sifted by Satan in Eastern Europe.

May our Lord have mercy on us.